Olympic Singing

Ever wonder what would happen if there was an “Olympics of Singing”? Don’t worry, sooner or later someone will think of that and make it happen.

What would it entail? Let’s see:

How many melismas can you fit into one word or on one note?

How high can you belt?

How loud can you sing?

How long can you hold one note?

How few times can you go off pitch?

How much “emoting” can you do while you sing?

Can you “relate” to the song?

Participants must not be over 30. Only pop, rock or country music are eligible styles.


Judges would be Rhianna, Queen Latifah, Justin Timberlake and Ellen. Winners receive coaching from Adele, John Meyer, Josh Groban and Renee Fleming. Prizes include free appointments with an ENT for one year, a CD (or mp3 equivalent), and an appearance on the Jimmy Fallon Tonight Show to talk about how “incredible” it is to be an Olympian.

It would be a very big hit. Sadly.

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