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Cult Following?

It has been hilariously suggested to me that I have a cult following and that Somatic Voicework™ is about me. “Gee whiz”, as I used to say as a kid, “give me a break!”

If you have 44+ years of experience teaching singing (and how many people do?) should you hide in your studio and keep what you have learned to yourself? If you have had decades to study, to explore, to investigate, to experiment, to try and to test, to validate, to question and to change, it would stand to reason that a lot of what eventually shows up after all that will be useful. If the information gleaned from such exploration turns out to be valid why not share it? If you are working with anyone else who has had either less experience or limited experience and who, perhaps, doesn’t sing a variety of styles, and who also, in that case, would be unable to conclude what is useful on their own without any guidance, wouldn’t it be unkind not to share information with that person?

The reason Somatic Voicework™ is successful is that it is useful in the voices and minds of others. I am not in the studio with 1200 people all over the world, people who remark that they are having great success with their students. I am not in their studio. No. The value of the work is that it is transferable! Who cares that it came out of my personal experience? Only those who see me as some kind of big deal guru with a cult following. Every time I write that I just want to laugh out loud.

There is actually an “anti-Lovetrian” movement in some places, not because those who teach using Somatic Voicework™ are doing anything negative. On the contrary, it is because they are very successful and their students are successful that they have attracted attention. In one college there are so many people who have gone through the training that the voice department chair doesn’t want anyone else to go through it. She hasn’t asked herself why so many of her faculty have sought it out or what it is about it that would make so many diverse individuals want to learn it, she just doesn’t want so many Somatic Voicework™ people there because……it won’t look good! For heaven’s sake, how stupid!

Trust Your Intelligence

We live in a time full of craziness. People don’t know whom to trust or where to go to get real information. They are suspicious. That’s fine. The world needs skeptics. The world also needs people to learn how to trust their own intelligence, common sense and their eyes and ears. Unlike investing in Ponzi schemes, the return using Somatic Voicework™ (or any other method to learn something besides singing), is in the doing. You can see, hear and feel when your voice works well.

People respect me for how I share what I have learned. I am not now nor have I ever been interested in having a cult of personality. To those who reject the work out of hand because they are afraid of being called a LoVetrian or a “follower” of JL, I say, think again. Those who are using Somatic Voicework™ successfully will tell you themselves, directly, that after they learn it well, the method works just as well in their teaching as it does in mine. That’s enough.

There are people in this world who can do something easily and well for no good reason other than they can. Singing is one thing that has a certain percentage of people who succeed because they sing well, sometimes very well, even though they have not trained to be singers or, sometimes, even though they have not had a strong background in singing at home or in a school setting.

They don’t know that there’s more to talent than talent.

Such talented individuals are at risk. They do what they do by osmosis and they have nothing to hang onto when things go off into unknown territory. They discover by accident that it is possible to have problems and that they do not have the means to solve them on their own. That is a frightening scenario that can rapidly go from bad to very bad.

Guiding someone with natural talent to keep what she has while also adding skills is a very particular kind of training to provide. It isn’t productive to take someone with a nationally recognized career and reconstruct what she does just to give her information that will ultimately be helpful to her. It is important that whatever works be left alone while new information is integrated into the singer’s lexicon slowly, particularly if the new information is quite different in direction from established patterns.

As a young teacher I didn’t understand this well and would often move in to make necessary adjustments in a way that was too quick. Many decades ago when I worked with amateur vocalists I was eager to make changes and at least once ended up making it impossible for the vocalist to sing in the flawed and habitual manner but not in the new way immediately either. I well remember having to apologize for being over-zealous and learned to go much more slowly particularly with willing students who practiced and followed my instructions. With talented singers who already have careers it is essential to be very cautious with even the most mundane corrections, lest you inadvertently cause more harm than good.

If you are correcting technical faults you can only do so effectively over a period of months or even years as it takes time for the voice and body to assimilate these adjustments in a deep way, allowing the mechanism to settle into the new behaviors so that they become automatic. Rushing absolutely never works and only forces the vocalist to manipulate the results, sometimes trading one kind of entanglement for another.

Vocalists can learn to take responsibility for their innate talent.

Age is a great leveler. Even very talented people discover through life experience that sooner or later something is going to go wrong. They learn that taking responsibility for their innate talent doesn’t mean they don’t have to develop equal responsibility for understanding  their natural abilities and how they work when they do. The younger someone is when they encounter a problem, the more likely it is that they won’t encounter that same problem again down the road, as long as they paid attention to what fixed things in the first instance.

For both singers and teachers of singing, do not be fooled by those with great instruments, powerful expressive skills or the ability to perform. Go underneath those things and make sure the vocalist finds out what there is to know about how human beings produce sound and how we store auditory and kinesthetic information in our minds. Explore what works and understand why it does. That way the talent will be sitting on a strong, solid foundation that can last a lifetime.

Leadership requires courage.

It requires that you do not worry about whether or not you are going to be liked for your decisions.

You cannot lead without taking a stand and holding it. No one ever lead a charge by saying to the troops, “I hope this works. Let me know how you feel about it and maybe we can try another way next time, if you make it.”

Doing things by consensus makes leadership difficult. The more people, the more difficult. Getting three people to agree on something is hard but getting 30 people is extremely challenging. Getting 300 people to agree on something is nearly impossible unless (and this is the kicker) you involve them emotionally. Emotional fervor can be enough to get masses of people to all go in one direction, even if that direction is foolish. Remember WWII?

In order to lead you have to know where you are going and how you are going to get there (even if you have to adjust that pathway as you proceed). You need to have a vision of what you want to accomplish and not let anything stand in your way.

Leaders risk failure, they risk ridicule, they risk scrutiny, they risk being ostracized. They are often seen as being “too” something: disturbing, egotistical, overwhelming, over-the-top.

Meek individuals might look up to someone who has leadership capabilities but, if they have to deal with the person for a while, they can also end up resenting the very characteristics they at first admired. No one who has “made a name” for him or herself has done so by being “nice” and “cooperative” at every moment. When you get to a certain level of visibility or responsibility, what comes with the territory is resistance, resentment and pushback. Only the very wealthy and powerful can hire “spin doctors” to fix the damage done to their reputations by those who were jealous, resentful and envious.

Leadership is even more complicated if you are female.

The image that women should remain in the home, baking pies, making babies and smiling at the hubby, persists in our culture, regardless of whatever strides have been made (and many have). Powerful women are rare and the statistics are available to prove how few women survive to rise to the highest levels of our society. Women, unless they have protection available in the above mentioned form of wealth which can be used to hire outside support, or connections with men who have power who can “lift them up” are trained early to be “cooperative, kind and polite”. These qualities don’t help to win a battle.

Yes, there is a middle ground between being a crazed maniac who makes enormous noise and says “my way or the highway”, and someone who is quiet, shy, introverted, and stays at home rather than interact with others in any but the most limited manner. That middle ground, however, isn’t always easy to locate.

Most people will look the other way when approached by a leader seeking change. They realize that such a person will disturb the status quo and shake things up. It is easier to run away, do nothing, and cluck about the situation than to jump into the fray. It is easier to criticize any individual who takes an unpopular stand, in the face of great opposition, even if the cause is obviously based on gaining the greater good. Going back as far as you like, anyone who came along to change “the way things are” has been attacked, jailed, or sometimes (think Joan of Arc) killed, even though later the person became revered.

If you would be a leader in your profession, your social group or your community, you have to stick your neck out, take a stand, go forward against opposition, and hold a clear vision in your mind of where you are going and why you want to get there. You will have to be strong enough to face nasty opposition and even situations that could imperil your health and well-being, carrying within you the deep conviction to go for the long haul, even if you are completely alone. You have to find a way to do things that have integrity, honesty, and decency at their core, even if it seems that holding to those values is incompatible with getting there. You cannot ever sacrifice doing it the right way for making a shortcut for the sake of convenience.

Leadership is developed.

Most people who hold positions of leadership are not leaders. They fall into circumstances that allow them to rise to the top of the heap by happenstance. True leaders emerge, not from the whiners and complainers, not from the quiet and reticent, but from the battlefield, bruised but not defeated. You will know one when you see one, but look hard as they are few and far between.

Point of View – What’s Yours?

Everyone on earth has their own point of view about life. The primary point of view you live through affects everything you do.

Women often make relationships the window through which they see everything. The roles they have: wife, mother, sister, daughter, niece, aunt — often are key aspects of their self-identity. Men frequently view the world through the vista of work: job, career, pay, benefits, upward mobility — key aspects of their definition of “me”.

Each of us has a primary view and secondary views and they run our lives (even if we don’t know we have them or what they are). If we see the world through our religion — everything has to fit with our particular faith and what it says is OK or not OK — that colors all of what happens every day. If we view the world through our race, our sexual preferences or through our social standing, we will be effected by those things in all that we do. In fact, those things can really run us and become the primary driver of every aspect of our lives.

If we look at the world as artists – dancers, musicians, actors, singers, or painters, sculptors or creative people of any kind – that matters. Each of the arts has its own mindset. A jazz vocalist is looking for something very different from a classical vocalist, even though the larynx of one is the same as the larynx of another. How one views singing is important and the point of view you have about all of what singing is to you makes a big difference in how you approach it. The mindset of a singer is as important in how she sings and what she does or doesn’t do with training as the singing itself.

If you teach singing you have to determine the point of view the student has about their own singing, their voice and the kinds of music they sing. You have to understand what they want, what the music industry of their chosen style wants, and what you want in order to help them match up both of those things to their own vocal satisfaction. That takes time and you have to “hang out” with folks in each field to get the “inside picture” of what’s expected and what is perhaps frowned upon.

What You See Creates What You Do

If your point of view is that life is frightening and awful your experiences will be very different from someone who thinks life is an adventure with new and exciting events occurring all the time. If you believe that everyone can sing by simply opening their mouth and making sound, that is very different from if you think that singing is a skill that can be highly developed through study and practice.

Find out your own point of view about life and about certain aspects of your life and your self. Consider how that affects all your choices, moment by moment and day by day. Find out how your point of view works for you – or gets in your way. And, if you sing, determine your point of view about singing — what is it and how does it color all that you see?

Any window is just that — a window. “Open a new window, open a new door” (as they say in the song) and see what that can do for you.

Noble

It means righteous, virtuous, good, honorable, upright, decent, worthy, moral, ethical, reputable. (Google)

It would be nice if everyone in charge of the various things that run our world were “noble”. So often, it is the case that people who make decisions don’t even contemplate, let alone behave, in a way that has any nobility. Probably, they don’t even know what that would be.

A while ago I saw in the NY Times that instructors of students in one of our prestigious law schools had trouble with the students behaving in an unethical manner. When queried, students replied that they thought it was “ethical” to do whatever they wanted, as long as it isn’t known to be illegal. The students were surprised to discover that there was something called “ethical behavior” in society at large. I wish I could quote the article, but if you are a searcher, you can probably find it. I think it was in the Sunday Magazine, maybe 5 years ago.

Does anybody really know what noble behavior is?

I think we could say something similar about “noble behavior” only perhaps more so. Who, today, would consider behaving in a way that is “noble”? Wouldn’t it be more likely that the behavior was self-serving and proudly so?  Look at Donald Trump. Very big success (so far) in his run for the GOP nomination, but Mr. Trump is an ego-maniac, a self-serving narcissist who thinks he has never made a mistake! Are most people turned off? NO! Millions of them think he is a great guy who has “outside the box” ideas!!!!! Seriously?

So it is with people in all aspects of society, including the arts. We all know about the “artistic differences” that show up in movies, plays, musicals, and in the world of fine art. Remember the huge big meltdown between Julie Taymor and U2’s Bono and The Edge over Spiderman The Musical? How about the Sony email leaks? Full of back-biting and nastiness.

If you want an example  of noble behavior (in case you need one) take a look at the role of “The Marschallin” as she deals with Octavian at the end of the opera “Der Rosenkavalier” by Strauss. Doing what is right and honorable, in the face of personal pain, requires a depth of personal character most people don’t have or even contemplate having.

You, however, if you sing or teach singing, MUST be noble. As a teacher you must think of your students’ well-being. As a singer, you must think of serving the music by doing it as well as can be done in the way the composer intended.

If you are in charge of a committee, an organization or a department in a university it is incumbent upon you to act with strong moral authority and deal with your colleagues with nobility. If you have a noxious person in your department, you are still required to address that person with dignity and fairness, being above-board and honest, even if you would rather not.

It’s Up To You To Be Noble

If the world were full of people who had “good values” and who understood the impact that respectful behavior can have on other aspects of interpersonal communication, we would all be living in a very different universe. Nevertheless, you, as just one individual, can make a contribution by behaving with nobility, by being lofty, elevated, high-minded, principled; magnanimous; honorable, estimable, worthy, meritorious (Dictionary.com)

Even if others do not follow your lead, you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and know that you are the captain of your own ship.

You may not realize, but it matters.

Half-Truths

We live in an age of “spin”. Perhaps average people don’t necessarily lie all the time, but it’s pretty common for the truth to get “fashioned” for various reasons. This has made it impossible for any of us in our entire society to know what is true and what is not and that is bad news for everyone.

The following are made-up examples, but they represent real ones:  A group called People for Peace is funded by gun manufacturers. Another group called Freedom For Everyone is funded by anti-gay, anti-abortion supporters. A group called Safe Energy Futures is backed by the coal industry. If you don’t dig, and dig hard, you might never know that at the bottom of these kinds of groups are people whose beliefs are the exact opposite of what the title seems to imply they are. Real examples: Dow Chemical tells you it is about improving lives while it is dumping untreated toxic waste into our rivers. BP tells you it is looking into clean energy while it is in the middle of paying for the worst oil spill in history. Spin doctors are called in to “re-build the image” and do damage control. We are awash in this every day.

Smaller scale groups can do the same kind of misrepresentation. A college draws fewer students and is hemorrhaging money. It has to downsize its program and cut faculty but gives out publicity proclaiming it is focusing its energies on a “more elite student body” to offer “greater concentration in their training”. It doesn’t say that it had no choice. It doesn’t say that it can barely sustain its programs. We have universities bringing in specialists to “update” specific  curriculum and when they do what they were hired to do, and the existing faculty doesn’t like it, they get fired for being successful.  I know of three such cases in specific universities the last 15 years.

Don’t Be Fooled By “Spin”

All of this is to caution you, dear readers of Jeanie’s blog, that what you see, hear or read may not be what is truthful. You may find that a presentation or a promotional item isn’t real — it’s just spin. It could be that you jump in only to discover for yourself later on that what was reported to be grass is actually just a photo of grass.

I am big on telling the truth because it makes life easier. If you are scrupulous about being truthful, even in small ways, taking care to choose the right words, people will come to believe you and trust what you say and who you are. If you “fudge” the truth, to make yourself look better than you are, or if you “embroider” the truth thinking it will build you up; if you only tell some of the story, knowing full well that leaving out specific parts of it will create the wrong impression in someone else’s mind, you are, basically, lying. If you get known as a liar, your reputation is dead. Even if lying (or, perhaps, “putting a spin on the truth”) works for a while, sooner or later as people get to know that you are all talk and not much substance, and as they discover your promises are worthless, they will distrust you, and that is an enormous price to pay.

Yes, people step on each other every day in an effort to “get ahead”. Sometimes they force others out through unfair competition, sometimes through backdoor deals, sometimes through cronyism and nepotism, and sometimes through deliberate manipulation of both word and deed, just to win what they think is the prize (typically more money but sometimes more prestige). In the end, however, people can easily tell over time what has depth and what is shallow, what is open, honest, truthful and reliable and what is not. They can literally feel it and will choose honesty whenever they can.

Some Things In Life Are Black and White

Don’t ever take the surface presentation of anything or anyone for granted. Dig a little. When you know the truth, tell the truth and insist that everyone you deal with also tell the truth. Some things in life are black and white — like the truth. Objective reality can be seen and agreed upon by everyone. Water is wet, rocks are hard, wheels are round and there is something called truth that is ABSOLUTE, DIRECT and UNDISTORTED.  In your life, do not make arrangements behind the backs of people who have trusted you. Do not make alliances after bridges have been burned. Do not cut corners, short-change people or deliberately leave out crucial information to be deliberately misleading. You will end up hurting your own reputation, which is the exact opposite of what you were seeking to do.

Those who live by the truth can’t be touched by that which is false. They are protected by their own honesty and integrity.  They can afford to be transparent, above board and straight-forward. They have nothing invested in trying to manipulate what is. In the end, they rise to triumph without any effort.

Don’t Resort to Half-Truths

Singing and the teaching of singing require truthfulness. You cannot lie to students about their abilities or progress. You do not, however, have to be hurtful in your telling of the truth if you think before you speak. If you deliberately lie to the students to “build them up” or to appease someone else, or to comply with some required obligation, you are doing them a disservice, but you are also doing the same to yourself.

Clarity.

How do we find clarity?

If you are in touch with your own goodness you will have clarity about what is and is not “right”. You will understand a few basic things that do not need to be proven or questioned. Those that live in any kind of dogma, any type of programming that comes from an outside source are bound to flounder. Sooner or later the ultimate moral authority has to come from being in touch within yourself with that which is inviolate. The light within which never dies is an unerring guide.

What is right? What is wrong? People get so lost around these basic issues. It is very simple if you live within your own goodness to understand the difference.

It is also the case that if you sing with freedom and ease, with connection to a clear message and a desire to communicate it honestly, if you breathe deeply and easily while you sing and you trust your throat and body to find the music through your voice, you don’t have to wonder about what is right and what is wrong, because your experience is its own answer. That which is right is that which allows you to live in the moment of making the music through your voice and that which is wrong is anything that stops the process.

You cannot sing if you do not listen within.

When we fall out of this awareness, and we all do, every day, all we need to do is pause and be still for a moment and it will return. It’s always there, in the silence, waiting for us to listen. If you do not listen, you cannot hear and if you cannot hear you cannot respond honestly. You cannot sing if you do not listen within. Many people do not and you can tell as soon as they open their mouths.

It is easy to lose track of your own integrity (truthfulness, trust, honesty, openness, forthrightness, etc.) if you start to manipulate others for personal gain. It is the beginning of a slide into darkness and loss. If you are in charge of a group of people and take them with you, you will cause great suffering. In the end, this can only eat away at your soul and eventually your body. Rent the movie, “The Picture of Dorian Grey” and you will get a good idea of how this works.

If you want to find clarity, keep yourself in touch with your own innate goodness. It will protect you and guide you to know what is right and to act upon  what is right, even when doing so is very hard and might cost you dearly. Following that which is of the highest good  can only lead to peace. Your singing will only benefit, and so will the hearts of all who hear you.

Hodge-Podge

If you go to a medical expert, a specialist, to find out about something specific, for instance, a hip problem, and the expert says, “Here is a range of possibilities as presented by a number of other experts, who can tell you what is available to address your hip problem. I can’t recommend any of them in particular, but if you do some research, in good time, you will be able to understand enough to make a safe judgement yourself, ” would you be happy with that? Is that why you would go to a hospital to consult a specialist? To get referrals to several other different people with conflicting opinions, before you even get one simple diagnosis?

A few places are now offering courses in vocal pedagogy and some of them are bending over backwards to seem “neutral” about their offerings. They will tell you, “we don’t endorse any of these experts because we are neutral. You can decide for yourselves what you like.” People who come to their courses or read their books are offered a “selection” of experts, all of whom have a different opinion on what works and why. Participants are being told, “Come to the buffet. We have lots of choices!” The sponsors dare not commit to just one point of view, lest they seem “prejudiced” or “not objective enough”.

If It’s Good, Run Away!

I recently heard that a very highly regarded college wishes to hire teachers who are NOT Somatic Voicework™ teachers in order for the voice department to be “more balanced” since many of the faculty have gone through my program. Funny about that. Maybe the reason so many people have gone through the program is because the word-of-mouth at the school is very strong that Somatic Voicework™ is based in reality and works. Instead, teachers are being asked to hide or deny their Somatic Voicework™ training in the name of “balance”. Yep. This isn’t the first time I have encountered this phenomenon either. If a lot of people like it, and a lot of people use it, and those people are excellent at what they do, and they tell their friends about it — don’t investigate the concrete reasons for this success — of course, go in some other direction just because!!!!!   : [

Let’s use me for an example but please know this in no way applies only to me. I am representative of many others.

I have spent four decades studying everything there was to learn about singing from all disciplines that related to it in any way. I compared this to that, and I made all kinds of sounds in all kinds of music in my own voice, and I performed in all styles of music in Connecticut (where I’m from) and in  NYC Off-Broadway and with Broadway professionals in numerous venues. Finally, after doing research with world-class scientists and doctors, and after several decades of teaching 5 days a week, all day every day, working with all kinds of singers, of all ages and backgrounds, and after being appointed as a consultant at Mt. Sinai Medical Center, I decided that certain pedagogical things were better and certain things were dumb and useless, based on  personal experience and objective study. Is it possible that there is some validity in these conclusions? Is it possible that someone who is in their mid-30s or even early 40s might not have that same level of knowledge about what works and what does not? What happens, then, when someone of that age is  placed alongside someone such as me (or anyone who is a “senior citizen”) as a peer? Are we really equals?

These conferences and courses present everyone, everywhere, regardless of the length of time they have been teaching, regardless of the unfounded ideas of their approach, regardless of the quality of their own singing, regardless of the amount or kind of their training or where it was done — everyone — as being experts of equal standing. This is supposed to be about fairness. It indicates being balanced. Of course. That puts the onus on the participant to be able to discriminate the true from the false or the so-so from the really great. If they could do that, they wouldn’t be at an educational course in the first place. Oops!

Many people seem to think that experience, investigation, study, actual physical use and validation by objective outside experts is not important in any topic. Not me. I want all of those things in anyone I consult, regardless of what it may be. I want to know that what is presented to me as information or guidance has been thoroughly investigated by a wide range of people with diverse backgrounds and they all agree that the person or the product is excellent.

It is, of course, possible to offer courses or write books in which you say to the participants, “We are inviting you to come here to learn, (or read this book) but once you are here, you must  decide for yourselves what you need to know, since we refuse to shine a light in any one direction. You will never catch us recommending one thing, one person or one approach over another. We are OBJECTIVE.” Offering Hodge-Podge is  a way to play it safe and not be “for” anything much at all.

If people who can sing very well, who have training, who have science in their background, who have tried something and know that it works, decide to throw that away in an effort to seem politically correct or “unbiased” no one can stop them. If, however, they cannot say, “This is better because I have investigated it all and I know what makes sense and works and what does not, and I stand behind my own ability to make an informed choice,” then do they have a right to offer courses at all? Do they have a right to be selling books as “experts” to the public? On what basis do these conferences or course books rest their authority? Going to a conference like that is analogous to strolling the Mall and seeing what store calls to you, rather than going there looking to purchase something specific in one particular place.”

Do You Really Want To Purchase Hodge-Podge?

If you go to a seminar, course, conference or workshop, and various experts are there offering information, and they conflict with one another,  and the people sponsoring the conference will not show you one definite, cohesive, proven approach, you might be wasting not only your time but your money. Look for places offering courses in vocal pedagogy that stand behind the work with honesty and integrity.  If they cannot present one clean, simple, direct, proven and ESTABLISHED pedagogy, if they have not vetted what is being proffered, and stand behind it, why is it being offered at all? And, if their expert faculty do not sing and sing well, in any style, ask yourself why that would be the case. If they are teaching singing using the methods they are selling to participants and they can’t sing well, should you trust what they are offering?

Caveat Emptor (let the buyer beware) is more true than ever.

Talk Is Still Cheap

It is very easy to give verbal support to a person or a cause. It is a way of saying , “You go, girl!” In most cases this is a very safe behavior and requires very little energy.

It is a bit more difficult to say, “You go, girl!” if the “girl” you are supporting is standing in front of a row of police, armed to the teeth, protesting something important. If, by saying “You go, girl!” you, too, could get arrested, you might think twice about opening your mouth.

Over the years many people have come to me, enthusiastic about my work, only to disappear when I am on the receiving end of some kind of attack or criticism. “I am there for you,” (but don’t ask me to take any specific action to back that up. ) I don’t like professional  pushback episodes but it comes with the territory of taking a stand, being visible and holding a point of view that isn’t what people are used to. Just being successful garners resentment from those who can’t find a way to succeed on their own.

If you can’t actually stand with someone, in the street, during the protest, your support is just talk and talk is still cheap. Those of us who are familiar with the New Testament know that Jesus went to the garden with his three closest disciples and they fell asleep three times even though he had asked them to be with him in his prayers. The people in this world who change things are always going to generate backlash. Galileo was ex-communicated, Leonardo was arrested (as a teenager, no less) and countless others were left alone by people who had been their friends when the going got tough. It’s simply not enough to have good intentions.

“Support” without action isn’t support, it’s just talk. Support is visible, it is courageous, it is more than just promises.

If you take up a gauntlet, go into battle and then drop it and run away when you stand on the field and see your opponents coming towards you, there is a name for you, but I won’t write it here. If you hide in the woods until the battle blows over, you might get away with it, but the person who lead the charge would know you had disappeared at the crucial moment. And YOU would know, which is worse. You have to look yourself in the eye every day. You have to live with yourself. You have to ask yourself how much you valued the thing you were “supporting”.

Talk is still cheap. It gets cheaper every day. Be careful what you say, because if you state that you support something or someone, and you do not stand behind your claim with action when action is necessary, you weaken the thing you were claiming to support, you weaken your own word and you give up your integrity.  And, in this world, folks, that is truly all we ever have.

Taking Responsibility

Everyone is responsible for what shows up in his or her life. Whether you intended it to be there or whether it got there “by accident” it is incumbent upon you to deal with whatever it is that’s there as if you planned for it. Most people do not operate that way.

“It’s not my fault.”

“I didn’t do it.

“Don’t blame me.”

“It’s not my problem.

“I’m not the responsible party.”

“She’s the one who started it.”

The only way to go forward in life is to always take responsibility for everything that is in your life. That includes the things you like and the ones you don’t. It includes the people you have deliberately chosen to be with and those who are there for some other reason. It includes how you operate on a day-by-day basis and even a moment-by-moment basis.  Whether or not the issue is “fair” or “reasonable” is of no matter, the thing to do is address the situation as effectively as possible, owning every aspect of it, even those things that occurred that were not in any way caused by you.

Operating this way is an enormous protection, even though it is sometimes dauntingly difficult. If you are fully responsible for everything that intersects your life and you deal with it that way, you will never be a victim. You will never be at the effect of something outside of you over which you have little to no control. You will never be permanently damaged by any negative event. That, folks is a BIG deal.

Some people deal with adversity by getting angry and seeking revenge. Some people shrivel up and go into hiding. Some people talk themselves into a stupor. Only a few people look at the rocks and make rock soup.

It can take a long time to figure out how to deal with adverse circumstances. It can take quite a while to dig out from under a big mess that has fallen upon your shoulders. If, while working on things, you don’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel, as long as you do what needs to be done, proceeding in the best way available at the time, sooner or later you will see the sunshine.

We all admire the runner who looses his legs in an accident and eventually goes on to be on a winning team of wheelchair basketball. We admire the person who looses use of his arms who learns to paint using his mouth to hold the brush (saw one of these folks on TV just recently). We do not admire the person who stubs his toe on the sidewalk and decides to sue for $10 million of damages and then uses the settlement money to buy a yacht.

If something happens to your voice, taking responsibility is the only way to go. Get help. Find out what’s wrong. Find out what’s possible. Look for answers and do the work required to make a new, different way to speak or sing. The lesson you learn there could apply to the rest of your life. How you deal with adversity, is how you deal with adversity, no matter where it falls.

Success amounts to getting up one more time than you have been knocked down.